Honoring and radiating a person, as a person, is what White Hall counselor Joseph Martin said people should do if they are concerned about a friend or family member's involvement with a cult or destructive group.

"Labels about that person or their association with the group they're involved in need to be avoided," Martin said. "Labels will encourage the person to go back to the group, and you need to keep the person connected to you."

A way to question a person about their group involvement without alienating them is to have that person explain the positive aspects of the group, Martin said.

"You need to challenge the person for answers without attacking the person's dignity or integrity," Martin said. "Ask them, 'How is being involved in this organization bringing you closer to your family and friends or making you become what you want to become in life?'"

The Rev. Chuck Graham of United Christian Ministries agreed with Martin and said the cult member needs to restart the critical thinking process.

"Talk to the friend involved in the group," Graham said. "Have the friend explain, in his or her own words, what it is they believe and what they are doing, not what they have been sold or have memorized."

Graham said keeping the lines of communication open is the most important thing to do if a person is concerned that someone they know is involved with a cult.

"Let the friend know that you will be their friend no matter what," Graham said. "No matter what you do, don't slam the door. Even if you disagree with the friend's current actions, let them know you will always be a friend to come to."

Martin said the amount of help a person may need after deciding to leave a cult depends on how regimented and structured the cult was.

"Some people can just drop out and quit attending the group meetings," Martin said. "If the groups are highly involved or if the member was sequestered to an area with certain parameters, counseling may be needed."

Jonathan Ruth, a former cult member and current president of Cult Information Services of Northeast Ohio, said after involvement in any cult or destructive group, years of counseling may be needed.

"When you start talking to counselors and make the decision to leave the group, it takes roughly two years until you get back to normal," Ruth said. "Part of normal is that you're not looking over your shoulder and your immediate reactions to situations are not the group's conditioned reactions.

"The group always gives you explanations of experiences and provides you with interpretations of what you're going through," Ruth said. "What we do in the cult education movement is provide an alternative explanation for what went on during the involvement with the group. Then, you can chose which description of what you went through is the better one."

Not surrendering control of your life to any person is how Ruth encourages people to avoid possible involvement with a cult or destructive group.

"You have the right to say no, and you don't have to explain why," Ruth said. "Everybody wants to be polite, but you don't have to offend anyone.

"If someone is giving you a hard sell on something say, 'God, I'm glad you care. No thank you.' Then turn and walk away."